Retro Bloat

Sure. I planned to post something witty and cute about Margie's sassy "spoil your dinner!" cupcake & crossbones birthday party.

But that was before I woke up bloated. And bitter.

Why must a woman nearing [only nearing] her mid-30s be flogged by aunt flo so? I can't believe that the bloat of 1985 is still afloat in my midst. My middle ain't takin' kindly to things that button or zip. I'm finding myself weeping in the closet to Tom and Margie about water retention - and lack of exercize and healthy eating - that has led me to this point. Woe is me. Whoa is my waist.

WTF?

So, for the first time in over 20 years [have I not suffered this whole menstruation charade long enough?] I bit the bullet [no, not the ob kind - although I'm proud to say I bleed green - no applicator is good for the environment] and bought a bottle of Pamprin. It's still available at local pharmacies. Still a horsepill. And, lucky for me, still attempting to keep the bloat at bay.

This ain't the cheeriest post - but it's the hormone-iest.

'night.

Little girl lost

Nope. I'm not talking about Margie in the toy aisle at Target. I'm talking about my own self. I've been MIA [however, unfortunately, not mysteriously at all] for damn near a year. My bad. My bad ass. I've been busy keeping up with life and all its little details. In the meantime, Ben's a year older, Margie too - myself and Tom [he hits the 20yr high school year reunion mark this weekend] and I find myself vowing to find myself starting today.

I'll be back to post my days away - what can I say?!

Margie with our Aunt Margie!

Sticky Situation

Trauma on a Thursday

Ever since Margie inhabited my belly, I've experienced the sorrows of heartburn - ever so sporatically. It's gotten yucky as of late, but I'm no hyprocondriac, so I kept the worry at bay and tried to lay off the caffeine, etc.

It got the best of me on Thursday when I was gassing up in a hurry at the Kwik Shop post-playdate. My chest was so tight & my fingers so tingly, I had to second-guess my heartburn for heart trouble and Ben & Margie went w/me on my adventure - to the ER.

Flashers flashing, I drove as fast as I could on the shoulder of 435 to the Hospital. Taking what I thought were deep breaths & maintaining my composure. Who meets their maker at 3pm on a Thursday? Surely not me.

Long story short - I pulled up, Jeep reving, into the ER bay & asked an orderly on his cell phone [and break, I'm sure] to, well. HELP ME. I pulled the kids outta the car & Margie got a ride on the wheelchair & mommy.

Okay, I promised, short version. I have stupid GERD [i.e. Reflux Disease] and it can feel like a heart attack. And my tingly arms were a result of HYPERVENTILATING. Come on, don't crazy people hyperventilate? I'm not a crazy person.

So, now thanks to a little purple pill and a couple of sleepless nights - I'm on the mend. And I have high hopes that Nexium will block the acid from all of my favorite things: Dark Chocolate, Garlic, Onions, Alcohol, Spicy Stuff!

So don't bother wishing me well - I already got well soon.

Here's to a loooooooong acid-blocked life!

Home again, home again - jiggity jig!

Vacation came - and went.

But not without pina coladas, almond toast [amaretto + kaluha = amazing!], sun, surf, parasailing, poolside nachos, dancing girls with pineapple headgear, karaoke, sunburn, flea markets, tans, mariachi bands, guacamole & hanky-panky.

O-oh, Mexico
Sounds so simple, I just got to go
Moon so bright it can light up the night
I think everything's alright

Thanks, Tommy!

Procrastinating is good for the vacation

Tom & I have the 7-year itch. It's been 7 years since we flew across the border to the turquoise blue sand-framed waters of Mexico. A lot happens in 7 years [i.e. Ben & Margie].

And it's been 7 months since we splurged on what has become the ultimate vacation of two surprisingly hip parents. We're headed to Cancun on the 5th!

So I've had 7 months to line up Ben & Margie sitting, swimsuit[s - one is NEVER enough], passports, packing...

But aside from assigning tender loving care of our kids to my awesome parents [who would come spend 5 days with them if we just wanted to hang out across the street] we've procrastinated, but I think it's good for a vacation [aside from the evils of attaining those freaking passports...].

So I've spent the last several days spending: time - and $$$ - preparing for said vacation I coulda prepared for long ago. But what's the fun in that? It's way more vacation-inducing to spend hours combing the racks for suitable suits [with a hint of smut], trial-sized everything [even little rolls of tp, in case we drink the water & can't find a loo], magazines galore, special treats for the kids when we're outta town, ground beef & pasta from Mom's gotta-have-it grocery list when they're here, perfect hair accessories & pedicures [thx auntie C].

In short, my procrasting has paid off - I've enjoyed every bit of last-minuting ALMOST as much as I'll enjoy every minute of r&r&pcs galore.

Viva Vacation!

[PS, I'll be pina-colada-ing on my bday, we'll be there over the 8th. Pretty sweet gifty!]